Considering Marriage? Discuss These 6 Things With Your Potential Spouse First

Photo by Beatriz Pérez Moya on Unsplash

So, you’ve been together for a while. Maybe months, maybe years, maybe close to a decade, maybe over a decade.

Maybe you’ve been living together for a while, or maybe you’re waiting until after marriage to cohabitate.

Regardless of your current situation, before you decide your partner is marriage material, there are a few things you absolutely need to discuss first.

1. Kids. Do the two of you want kids? If your answers differ from your partner’s, do yourself a favor and leave the relationship. Harsh, I know. But you can’t change someone’s mind on something so huge. The only exception to the rule here is if both of you may be leaning in different directions and are both totally fine with never having kids.
2. Religion. This is often a difference of philosophy heavy enough to break a marriage.
3. Politics. We all saw the last US election and the fights that broke out within families and marriages. You need to align (at least for the most part) in your political views to have a successful marriage.
4. Health. What are yours views on health and do they differ from your partner’s? Do either of you non-negotiably follow a certain type of diet (vegetarian, vegan, etc.) that the other does not want to follow? Is the spouse with the special diet willing to have meat cooked in their home? Do you both want to stay fit and healthy?
5. Wealth Management. How do you want to manage money with your future spouse? If you want kids, will one of you stay at home while the other works? Will you have a joint account? If you will be a stay-at-home-mom (or dad), does your partner value the amount of work it takes to raise a child?
6. Future Plans. Where do you two see yourselves in 5 years? Or 10? 20? 50? Do your dreams align?

Of course there’s a lot more nuance to all of this than just these questions, but all of these can set a foundation for a successful marriage and life together. Never stop talking to your partner, even after they become your spouse.

There’s so much opportunity to grow together for the rest of your lives.